After our move, inactivity (and reproducing laundry piles) just about kept me depressed from Dec to April. I am an active girl, I usually have my activity brushes in about 12 pots of color at a time: homeschooling, church, praise team, studies, volunteering with children, working with young teens and adults….well you get the picture. After moving there was a sudden lull that lasted for months. Yes I went to newcomers meetings, to church, to this and to that….but the more I tried, the less I fit. God seemed to be saying “no” to whatever I prayed about doing. When I cried for friends He would quietly say “I am all you need, come closer” When I would sqeal that I couldn’t stand the walls of the house ANY longer He said “Learn to be content in all things” Pretty humbling and pretty frustrating for the girl who likes to make a plan and do it. It was a time of rest, of restructuring, of preparing apparently and I tried to be obedient to the direction. By April, though, it was flat not fun anymore. I can so see now, in June, when the whole world around me is spinning on two axis that He had that planned slow time in place for a reason. I would need to be fresh to face all that this summer has brought. There are still a lot of days when I simply wish He’d ask to see my datebook and we could get on the same page… (nah….I’m not still struggling with that “who’s in charge thing….not me…..why would you think that????? lol)

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hydrangeas remind me of my wedding day, and many childhood days where they were brought in for the table at my Grandmother Geddie’s home. Large blue hydrangeas surrounded her Dossie Mae, the weekend summer cottage and pink ones were in her back yard on Clifton Street. They were always full and happy plants and ripe for granddaughters to bring inside without being fussed at for cutting flowers. When Dh and I married, my flowers came from my mother’s Sunday School class yards….they are Southern gardeners and I was given literally five gallon buckets of roses, lillies and hydrangeas as well as white lace flowers to decorate the historic home we were married in. A dear friend and I made bouquets, put them in centerpieces and enjoyed the morning of the wedding making the beautiful home full of fragrance.

For two years I have tried to grow hydrangeas in Arkansas. We first bought them from a nursery and on sale….they did beautifully right up until the neighbor’s dog decided he loved the taste of them……ate the whole plant and pulled out the roots.

The second round didn’t go much better. The spring floods in Arkansas came and the roots simply couldn’t handle the water.

When we moved to Alabama, I so hoped we could find some bushes to buy. We went to several of the plant stores and they had none. My yard is small and planted by someone else so imagine my excitement when I found not one but three thriving plants on the side of the house this week. They had been cut back and ground level for the winter….but in this week’s sun they had grown to be 2 feet already! …and those stems up from the ground turned into pink and white roses….my favorite! One of the gifts of this house has been its previous owner was a perennial and rose lover. These last few weeks have taken us from an empty yard, full of emptiness to one rich with many kinds of blooms….

I kinda feel like that right now…..that this winter I was empty of God’s richness…. I realized I was dormant. I wasn’t digging in the Word and allowing His light to warm me and to help me grow. The last few weeks as I have spent more time in the Word….I feel He is growing me too……and hopefully in a way that will bloom lovely to be shared with others. I am definately having to weed the garden of discontent as it comes forth in my day. I am learning to take out those thoughts and actions that hinder peace, joy, and contentment. (do you know how hard lazy is to dig out of my garden?) The weeds are sometimes very tough, I have to dig down to find their root…..they grow back easily if I don’t get every piece of that root uncovered.

All of us have so much within us that God is just waiting to bring forth……these spiritual gifts are not planted in us to stay but to grow and give away to others…..

It’s a beautiful day in Alabama….one in which it is easy to think of the blessings I receive daily….so for this moment I will see what I can do to bloom where I am planted, which at the moment is a messy house much in need of attention by that trusted one house servant of mine……where is that lazy girl? (oops she’s still on the computer writing to you)

Roses shared from our yard in Arkansas
for my stepmother’s bouquet
for her wedding to my father.

Last night our first baseball game didn’t go so well. The boys didn’t have the experience to know what to do in tight situations….the bases were loaded, it looked to be going well, then through several poor choices in a row we were out in one triple play. The evening was filled with such things, the boys getting to the tight place….and not knowing what to do. They were sad, dejected and disgusted at the end of the game.
Coach called them round and first of all said “you and you and you…(pointing) you played better than I’ve ever seen, you didn’t flinch and you caught the ball” “you and you….did you see them get that ball to the plate?” “You there….great fielding” “I want you to know I failed you as a coach, you see at 14 I thought you’d know the game.” and then went on to ask a few specific questions of what do you do when to which none of the boys knew answers. He explained that not knowing how the game is run is as important as batting, catching practice they had done all week, he had assumed they knew that so he didn’t go over it with them….he had focused on their hitting, catching and fielding….He went on to explain that this week they’d know much more about where to take decisions moments in their game….
Isn’t that what our lives are about, not the how well do we clean house, budget, do our job at work or mother…..but where to take the decision moments of our life. What to do to win the race? I can practice all day long on how to make my budget work….but if I do not tithe, depend on God for my provision, all the practice in the world won’t fix my wagon. When life’s stresses come my way, it doesn’t matter if I know how to walk to relieve stress, or write to help relieve it….but if I learn to take it to God I don’t have to carry it anymore. Homerun.
My decision moments lately have been tough….I’ve had to rely on God more than I’ve ever wanted to…(now tell me the truth, isn’t that ridiculous to not want to rely on God Almighty, Creator and Most High?) His promises are true, proven in my life, and real…..yet I so very often rely on Shanna, Queen Mother of the Messy Children, Creator of Messy Homes. Every time I stop to learn the game, to actually read God’s Word as I should I learn the rules again….and I know that I don’t have to panic, I don’t have to worry, I don’t have to fear….I can rely on Him through the knowledge of His Word….
On the days when we are disgusted, dejected and disappointed in ourselves or our performance isn’t it usually true for you that its most likely when you’ve been focusing on your own actions or lack thereof, not on God’s promises and my faith in Him? I know for me that’s true….for when I focus on God and His promises and relearn my beliefs and His ways….the my day’s focus and performance is much different..there is hope, there is peace and there is joy in living the life he gave me.
Be blessed this day, spend time relearning your life’s race rules….open your Bible and be restored!

Proverbs 3
1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Yesterday we stretched a little financially and helped with someone’s utility bill. She’s facing hard times with five children on her own. It was a little scarey, for our own budget is strained, but it was right to do. This morning God had returned the money in our account from a long ago deposit and it was as though we had not strained. My Dh, hearing that the expected loss was no longer true for us, wanted to take it a step further and use the returned money to do more. I agreed. We took the blessed money and bought groceries for the same family. A little less comfortable, for it was face to face giving to folks I didn’t know, and our budget would then again be strained, my flesh had an uncomfortable feeling, I admit it I don’t like being on 0 cash and strained accounts. but gain I agreed with Les. I wanted it done. But But my flesh cried out…you have to meet them, what if they don’t like the kind of food you picked, etc….most of it would come from our pantry and then use the cash returned to buy milk, bread, butter, fresh fruit, etc
Driving out to the house was easy, the day was beautiful and the view breathtaking. God had another blessing in store for me. You see I have been lonely for “country folk” like from the rural part of Arkansas where we came from. Folks with no pretence, a love for others and appreciation of just simply being. Folks who could relate to living tightly on budgets and working to simply cover the bases as we do.
Upon arrival at the home I was greeted by a warm hug and surprise. The children, who are homeschooled, ambled out quickly to take in the groceries. I had a 45 minute visit with the girls and their mom and had the nicest time with them. They lived across from a larger farm and the view was out of a painting. I felt so renewed coming home, so reminded of where I was eight years ago when it was my husband who left….worrying about how to pay bills and keep two children fed. Reminded how far I’ve been brought to be in a happy marriage, bills paid and not worried about how God would provide groceries that day.
Home again home again I know they will be in real life friends another day. Miss Madison will be so sad being ill today, she couldn’t go. They had rabbits, chickens and other animals she would have loved petting, helping with. Home again I am so thankful for my pantry that has food, for the freezer with food for next week too, even though we shared. It touched me how in giving God so gave to me today…..isn’t it always the way? I write this not to say “look at me” or to get attention but to share with you just how good God is…how He ministered to me in this. How it didn’t make logical sense but God put it in my heart for a reason…and yet He rewards me for obeying!
I’ve got chores to do and somehow I’m ripe for getting them done…..I even feel like cleaning (now that IS God) the day has turned out sunny and I am just thankful for all that God has given to us.