This week I was reminded of a very important lesson I learned when we were just beginning as a blended family. In each of our original families, there were two children, a girl and a boy…our new family meant four children who suddenly changed their rank as we became one family.
Les, Dh, is deployed in Afghanistan. He is away for six months. Our youngest is doing visitation in Arkansas for these three weeks leaving son2 and I home alone. What a special time this has been. At sixteen he and I often are akin to sandpaper with each other….he is fighting for independence, I am fighting to keep boundaries that help him stay safe. As we drove to football camp on a ten hour drive I remembered why it is so important to date each of our children. Those ten hours each way were so very healing to our relationship. With just us in the car, the range was quiet sharing of time to deep sharing of what has worked, is working, or we hope to change in our daily lives. Good stuff.
It was also amazing to have his natural dad show up with Madison at the camp’s close unexpectedly. Our roads are not always smooth, but we were able to all sit together, cheer on our favorite quarterback and then share a meal together before we drove ten hours home. Those kind of experiences is just what their Dad and I hoped for when we parted ways so many years ago….a peaceful co parenting…a putting the children first kind of relationship…
It’s worth working through the hard times for….
Sweetie
